There are many different reasons why people choose to leave their career in education. For me, it was two-fold. One; to help look after my mental health after a number of incidents which induced panic and/or anxiety attacks, and two; an immense frustration with the state of the school system, which feels like a treadmill to churn out civil servants. There was no longer room for creativity, for designing lessons that foster specific interests in children. Teaching has changed so much since I trained, schools buy into many programs under the guise of reducing workload for teachers. This does have its place with some subjects, as long as teachers are given the freedom to adapt and use what they want from it to suit the needs and interests of the children they are teaching. However, the use of bought programs and schemes, and the insistence that so many schools have in wanting to be able to walk between classrooms and see the exact same thing going on has taken so much spontaneity and joy out of teaching and learning. I was getting increasingly frustrated that I was having to focus only on the academic progress of my students learning, that I was unable to foster their unique and special interests and skills. I could go on about how I feel the system is broken, because it is. That is known. Teachers are leaving in their droves.
I really struggled with the decision to leave teaching. I spent 5 years at university obtaining two degrees, 15 years in the classroom teaching hundreds of children, it was what I was. How I identified.
It is amazing looking back at the past 6 months and thinking about how one seemingly small change has had the biggest impact on my life and well-being.
I say seemingly small, because the decision to change career is not always an easy one, especially when it is a career that is viewed as a life-long profession, a calling. One that has such an insular attitude within it where you are lead to believe that you have a limited skill set and that to leave it you are failing all the children that you could have had an impact on in the future. Seeing it from the outside now makes it so clear to me how toxic some parts of the industry can be. Don’t get me wrong, I loved teaching, I loved having a positive impact on children and there are many wonderful things that I take from my career in education. These I will get into later. But first, the beneficial changes that I see in my life.
The first and biggest change that people always ask about is the number of holidays that I get. I just do not need holidays like I did. It used to be a constant countdown. But now, with the school summer holidays already a couple of weeks in, I have taken hardly any. Since I started my non-teaching job, there has been February half term, Easter holidays, May half term, and I have taken six days off. Two because I had to before the end of a holiday year, one to take a friend’s child out for the day, another to see a friend from home, and two to have a long weekend overseas. I really do not feel as though I am missing out. I used to feel such a mental exhaustion and needed the holidays to catch up on sleep, self-care and life admin. These are all things that easily fit into each week not because I have the energy to.
Another big change I notice is that I used to get home from a day at work in a school exhausted. I would cook, eat, tidy up, sit like a zombie on the couch decompressing and go to bed. I still do those things, but I also will do my laundry, cleaning, meet up with friends, make plans, do the food shop, read, have a soak in the bath. I do things that I used to only have the energy to do on weekends, which now leaves my weekends more free to do what I want, rather than what I need to do. It is very refreshing.
I had read about this being the case for people who had left the classroom and it is something I was looking forward to. I didn’t, however, fully appreciate how it would impact me.
Due to the fact that I had been so poorly a number of years ago with my mental health, I have people in my life who can see the physical change that is also occurring. My friends, family and therapist all have commented multiple times on how I am more relaxed, more outgoing, happier. I do very much feel this myself, but is it so validating to have others not only notice it, but bring it up with enthusiasm. Especially when they are the same people who would point out that I looked particularly tired, or noticed that I wasn’t coping well in a certain environment and would take me out of there before a panic attack set in, or would invite me around for dinner, just to have me sit on their couch and do nothing then be sent home with the left overs.
The change has meant a decrease in salary, but I can still pay my bills and do things that I enjoy. You just cannot put a price on happiness and your mental health.
Now, on to the things from my career in education that I will forever cherish.
– The connection that you develop with students and their families. There is something so special about being a child’s go to person at school, having them trust you with their problems and feelings, and even to give them some tough truths as well. When this extends to the parents also trusting this relationship and the positive impact that it is having on a child life, even for that short time you are their teacher, is an honour. I truly hope that some of the children I have taught over the years, shared tears and anger and joy and friendship problems and laughter and lunchtime chats look back at the time we shared with the same fondness that I do.
– The notes from children and their families thanking me. I have a box that I keep all these things in along with some of the little gifts and drawings that are really meaningful. It is impossible to keep everything that you are given over the time, so I have limited myself to just that one box. Along with these are some leavers books and end of year cards with messages that have really made me laugh about the little things that happen in a school year and running jokes that are established with certain classes and individuals.
– The little moments. The class that I last had before leaving the classroom I taught in a job share for the first term of the year. As an end of year activity, one of their teachers asked the students to draw or write about one of their teachers. I was told that the majority chose me. It definitely warmed the heart.
– Bumping into past students. This can happen in so many different ways. Sometimes it is a quiet wave or nod, other times they come up and just cannot stop talking, telling me all the things that they can do and asking about what I am up to.
– They pure wonder that you can inspire in a child with just a story. For example, I tore my calf muscle and needed to use crutches for a few weeks. This happened to coincide with the reception classes doing a unit based around Jack and the Beanstalk. Their teachers said that the Giant had come down the beanstalk the night before and I saw him and chased him around the playground. Those children were in awe of me for keeping them safe. Another group of children were convinced that I work for Father Christmas, but I was only allowed to tell a few people each year and it was a very special secret. This was an absolute delight as the children asked me questions in awe with hushed tones and wide eyes.
Working in education is a part of my life that is definitely over. I will always be a teacher, and I will always remember my time in the classroom with great fondness. I went into it hoping that I would make a difference for at least one child, and I do feel that I have managed to do that.
randommusings 